Your Resident Evil Joke

[nemesis_lover]

Alright i thought of somthing random we could do on this forum. How bout we post our Resident Evil Jokes :D
They can be about anything from any of the games to just random R.E related stuff. Leave Normal Jokes if you wish, but that wouldn't be funnny, not as much as a gd old Resident Evil Joke.

example: why didn't the leeches cross the road......because they had nobody to go with.... GET IT HA HA HA

the leeches normally turn into leech man but without him they had nobody to go with HA HA HA. CAN YOU BEAT THIS JOKE, THEN TRY YOU DAM BEST.

[BLSR1]

What does jill do that Barry's wife won't?
make jill sandwiches(if ya know what I mean)

What event is Joseph not allowed withing 1 mile of?
The Dog Show

A zombie walks into a bar what happens?
he stars off a really crappy online game


Why did Nemesis move to Hollywood?
for the stars

[Scream]

Why did the crimson head cross the road?
Because the zombie didn't make it.

Marvin Branagh walks into a bar..
"Why the white face?"

[Project Omega]

Marvin Branagh walks into a bar..
"Why the white face?"

Anyone else think that was a Michael Jackson reference?

[A-J]

A zombie walks into a bar what happens?
Spoiler:
show spoiler
he stars off a really crappy online game

lol, you win.

[nemesis_lover]

the why did the nemesis go to hollywood was grand lol
POST SOME MORE PPL :D

[Stars_g36]

What do you get when a Zombie bust down the door to the room Jill is locked in seeing her get crushed?

HMMMMMM Jiiillll Saanndddwhhiiicchhh ahhhhhh....


sorry I tried to make a funny... >_<

[nemesis_lover]

What do you get when a Zombie bust down the door to the room Jill is locked in seeing her get crushed?

HMMMMMM Jiiillll Saanndddwhhiiicchhh ahhhhhh....


sorry I tried to make a funny... >_<

hmmmm.........yesh lol
gd one, keep them coming stars :D

[Stars_g36]

let me see,

What's Red and black and dead all over?...

Marvin Branagh,RE2 Character, Minor supporting role, ehehehehe

http://www.residentevilfan.ws/encyclopedia/full/marvin.jpg

[BLSR1]

Whats Small, Pregnant and can't climb ledges?
Sherry Birkin

[Stars_g36]

ohh good one BLSR... did you like mine :)

[nemesis_lover]

loved the last two, here's mine
why was the nemesis after jill in r.e3?
because he heard she was a sandwhich......
hee hee NOW THAT'S FUNNY
i really have to sit down and think next time ;p

[BLSR1]

I fixed my last one

[Stars_g36]

ahaha nice

[chrism3784]

In Resident Evil 1, why did Barry really have to hide saying he went to get some "fresh air"
Because he realized how dumb he sounded telling Jill he had a Magnum when she had an unlimited Rocket Launcher, so he was embaressed and had to hide.

In Resident Evil 1, why did Forest come back from the dead and chase Chris when he came near.
Because he had a relationship with Rebecca, and now Chris is banging her.
Haha

In Resident Evil 2, why was Claire in such a hurry to leave the Police Department, and why did she go down to the sewer afterwards.
Because she had to pee really bad after that motorcycle ride, the Police Department doesn't have bathrooms, so she had the find the quickest way to the sewer to take a leak.

After Resident Evil 2, why did Claire get a Sequel First
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b156/chrism3784/CAPCOMSCHEME.jpg

In Resident Evil 3, Brad Vickers was killed, and injected with the T-Virus by Nemesis near the Police Station, why did he stay by the PD.
To tell Claire there are no bathrooms inside. She didn't believe him so she killed him and from the sheer excitement of it she wet herself. She she had to go in and change her cloths.

In Resident Evil 3, why was Nemesis unable to Kill Jill
Because evertime he saw her, he started laughing about Barry's Jill Sandwhich Joke, and she got away each time. Serves him well to listen to Barry.

[nemesis_lover]

chrism, that was lmao, loved the sequel joke :D
that last one made me chuckle aswell

[Dark_Angel14]

Why did Nemesis move to Hollywood?
Spoiler:
show spoiler
for the stars
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

[delage]

Dunno if this is the place to post it but i found this quite funny (watch it til the end)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVA4kFewTo8

[nemesis_lover]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rcsb18z00NA

seen the mario vid, thanks for posting it, forgot about how gr8 it was, but this barry one is sooooo funny, well i think it is

[Helegad]

Lol, shut-up about the Jill sandwiches. That was so stupid when Barry said that, I almost wet myself from laughing so hard at him.

Did you know that Capcom put a shop in the mall in Dead Rising, called Jill Sandwiches?

[Stars_g36]

ahaha no, I think I need to get that game... :D

[BLSR1]

Lol, shut-up about the Jill sandwiches. That was so stupid when Barry said that, I almost wet myself from laughing so hard at him.

Did you know that Capcom put a shop in the mall in Dead Rising, called Jill Sandwiches?

yes.
I think it was Jill's sandwich(es) though.

[nemesis_lover]

gotta get out of college and play d.r now :D
any more jokes :o
btw did anyone like the you tube vid i pust up or is it just me who lmao at it

[nemesiswontdie]

Lol, shut-up about the Jill sandwiches. That was so stupid when Barry said that, I almost wet myself from laughing so hard at him.

Did you know that Capcom put a shop in the mall in Dead Rising, called Jill Sandwiches?



thats awesome i have to look for that...hey..chris............hey..chris......i really want a jill sandwich

[BLSR1]

Jill is so awesome...
She makes latinos lose their accent

[nemesis_lover]

BARRY YOU JUST LET JILL DIE
NO....yeah
lol gr8 lines

[nemesiswontdie]

BARRY YOU JUST LET JILL DIE
NO....yeah
lol gr8 lines


ok heres a vid just like it made by the same guy its just with wesker and chris
this time not as good as the barry and chris one tho but still good

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CykmigQi5RA

[nemesis_lover]

was ok, but can't beat barrys one lol

[BLSR1]

Ive posted it before...BUT it is funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IvlcjysbRU

[nemesis_lover]

i lov the alfred ones to do with new shoes and alfred wants it all. ANYONE GOT ANY R.E MOVIE JOKES?

[Darkmoon]

Why bother? Just watch the movies.

[nemesis_lover]

lol
i hope the biohazard movies doesnt turn out to be one :o

[LeonsBuddyDave]

Why did the Ganado swing his ax at Leon in the begginning of RE4?
He heard that STARS members make great sandwiches.

[BLSR1]

Why does every main boss in RE4 explode when they change?
They're a terrorist group, remember.

[LeonsBuddyDave]

Ganados=Suicide bombers lol.
BLSR gets my vote.
Did you know you can mix up the letters in "Los Illuminados" to form the name Al Qaeda?

[BLSR1]

How do you get drunk really fast?
You drink a shot every time a monster jumps at the Screen in the RE movies

[nemesis_lover]

last couple of jokes have been gd :)
i think at the end of the month we should all vote a winner of the best joke and whoever wins, can go and say "i'm the king of resident evil jokes" or somthing along those lines. what do you think, shall we turn this into a contest?

[LeonsBuddyDave]

Why not? Just for the record, I vote BLSR1 for:


Why does every main boss in RE4 explode when they change?
They're a terrorist group, remember.

I crapped myself reading this.

[Stars_g36]

aww I thought my hmmm jilllll sannddwiiichhh was good ahaha

[nemesis_lover]

stars, i'm sure you could win some votes, by telling friends on this forum.
ok so the end date is nov 30th, so get ur votes in.
so far BLSR1 is the winner so far with one vote.

[LeonsBuddyDave]

Why is Barry's voice acting so crappy?
He's busy chewing on the remains of a JIll Sandwich.

[BLSR1]

Who wins in a fight Barry or Chuck Norris?
Barry. Because He's got "THIS"

[Judith Gray]

I liked the one about S.T.A.R.S. and Hollywood.

[nemesis_lover]

well looks like BLSR1 might win this comp with his amazing jokes lol and i'll work it out at the end of the month, but for now i think BLSR1 has got two votes :o
so he's in the lead, keep voting for ur fav joke and at the end of the month, we'll have the Resident evil joke master

[LeonsBuddyDave]

Here's a good one.

What do Nemesis' friends call him?The S.T.A.R. Destroyer!
I thought it was funny. :)

[nemesis_lover]

Here's a good one.

What do Nemesis' friends call him?The S.T.A.R. Destroyer!
I thought it was funny. :)

lol gd one

[LeonsBuddyDave]

thanks!

[Stars_g36]

What do you get when you Cross Nemesis and Star Wars

the DEATH STARS

ahaha this was kinda lame o_o

[BLSR1]

What do you get when you Cross Alpha Team and Star Wars

the DEATH STARS

ahaha this was kinda lame o_o

fixed.

[Stars_g36]

oh thank you sir... :]

[nemesis_lover]

BLSR lol
u really want to b king of jokes i can see
don't worry STARS u correct his ;)
JOKE WAR

[BLSR1]

JUST A MOMENT!....
WESKER!!!!

[Stars_g36]

Is that you Rebecca?

[nemesis_lover]

those two jokes cracked me up LMAO

[BLSR1]

What's Wesker's pickup line at bars?
"I want to show you the 'Tyrant' "

[LeonsBuddyDave]

What's Wesker's pickup line at bars?
"I want to show you the 'Tyrant' "

I dont care what anyone says, BLSR1 needs to win. Now.

[rewak]

*picks up Gaiden cartridge*

Here, play this

Not good at jokes :lol:

[Helegad]

Why did Wesker join Umbrella?

So he could use men for his 'personal purposes' in remote places.

Lol, I suck :)

[Stars_g36]

Whats Alfreds favorite candy?

(Sorry Shadowleggy, to good to pass up)

Barry's and Cream


:D

[nemesis_lover]

oh this is close, but a winner for this joke shall be named soon, in like 2 days or something :o i have to put in a joke when i get back from work tomoz.

[Stars_g36]

we all know who the winner is :D

BLSR def takes it hands down...just wondering how this became a contest...

[nemesis_lover]

long 4 pages cut short, it was around 2 weeks ago, it was cold outside and i was sit at the computer reading joke after joke, but then things got stale. Jokes weren't coming in anymore (about 2 days or less). So i put my keyboard down and decided that this forum needed a contest, a battle between members ( even tho like only 5 ppl have put jokes on the pages). So i set up a contest, where the jokes will have to be better, more funny. EVERY JOKE MATTERED......every joke counted. So the contest was started, which would decided the Resident Evil/Biohazard King/Qureen of Jokes 2007. The winner would have the chance to put it down as a sig or even just say it OUT LOUD to ppl in the street. That is why and how this thing became a contest STARS my friend, this is how.....

[BLSR1]

Alfred and Alexia arrive at a party but there is a problem. What is it?
Like most twins. they wore the same dress.

[Helegad]

I don't get it. Probably because I haven't fought with them before.

[Stars_g36]

Alfred and Alexia arrive at a party but there is a problem. What is it?
Like most twins. they wore the same dress.



ahahaha thats funnay... :lol:

[BLSR1]

I don't get it. Probably because I haven't fought with them before.

They are in RE:CVX Alfred and alexia are twins. Alexia is frozen and alfred goes Gay/insane and starts dressing like his sister and pretending he's her. It's the reason why that game is so silly.

[nemesis_lover]

BLSR1, ON BEHALF OF ME (NEMESIS_LOVER) AND THE PPL WHO HAVE COMMENTED ON THIS THREAD, I PRESENT TO YOU THE AWARD FOR UNSTANDING JOKES. BLSR1 YOU ARE THE KING OF RESIDENT EVIL JOKES. From now on we shall all know you as the king of r.e jokes or just that funny guy on that forum. wherever you step, someone will shout ur name, a kid in the street would point and say "hey it's him the king of resident evil jokes", in japan they would say "yo he the one with the jokes, the biohazard jokes, he is ha ha". Be proud of urself BLSR 1, because i am, you have brang a smile to my face every day or two, and that is why ur wearing that crown on ur head. Please make a sig or someone (as i dont hav the know how) make this king a sig, stating that he's the king of r.e jokes. Now back to business, just keep leaving jokes on this thread i guess :D, u never know one of the admin, may turn these jokes into a e-book ;)

[BLSR1]

w00t.

thanks guys. Can I have a sig made?

As a gift to you here is Shadowleggy's latest awesomeness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKCVPu_c6JQ

[Stars_g36]

uhh Do i get second place!!!!!








aww ok then.

[Helegad]

He's feeling sad! Everyone tell him how cool he is! That might cheer him up :p

[nemesis_lover]

yeah sure STARS, second goes to you :), please someone make this guy a sig :o

[LeonsBuddyDave]

Soon as I have time, I'll work on it!
Heh heh, maybe we should have a "King of RE Jokes Sig Contest".

[Stars_g36]

for 1st and 2nd place lolz, im not sad at all, I was just joking...see that was a good joke :P

[Helegad]

Yay, I put in two crap jokes, I should get last place!

Well, at least I'm in it... Lol

[nemesis_lover]

hmmm heres my joke, it may make the king on this forum look silly but here goes. Why should you never employ Leon.............Because he always has a bad first day at work :D

[BLSR1]

Bump for demand of sig.

[LeonsBuddyDave]

I havent been able to work on it yet, but it will come.

[Helegad]

*LeonsBuddyDaves words actually mean that it will hit either a Duke Nukem: Forever phase or a Resident Evil 1.5 phase* :)

[LeonsBuddyDave]

...what?

[Stars_g36]

yup

[Helegad]

It means that it will probably never get done :)

[LeonsBuddyDave]

I started on it, but im new at photoshop so it might not be the best. It features BLSR1's Barry sig wearing a crown while modestly checking out his signature
"THIS."

[Helegad]

Sounds good so far!

[BLSR1]

http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa39/BLSR1/REcomic1.jpg