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Resident Evil 6: Unicorn Rape

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  • Resident Evil 6: Unicorn Rape

    This is TheMedic and my joint vision of the next Resident Evil title. Be warned there's some sex, language, violence, and general retardation.


    The REAL Resident Evil 6

    The awesome story line:

    Jill and Rebecca ride in on a gay rainbow on a unicorn. Obviously, they're having wild sex and shooting guns.

    Barry is also there, but he is a cyborg centaur (complete with laser-guns, pink shoes, tu-tu,and a Chris Crocker t-shirt as you would expect from Barry) because he didn't make it far enough away from the explosion at the mansion.

    Chris is also there, but he has had a sex-change (Man, did Kijuju,and Jill fuck him up or WHAT!?) and is now Christina. Leon doesn't know she was a dude, so he's all ga-ga over her, but he only has 24 hours left to live if he doesn't figure out how to stop being a douche in order to keep the bomb in his heart from exploding.

    Claire, thoroughly confused, is in love with Christina even though she knows it was once her brother Chris.(Like, Oh my god!! Incest!) DRAMA! Little do they know, Wesker was reincarnated as a unicorn... THAT unicorn! And he has a nefarious plot to take over the world with his dreaded unicorn powers.

    Look out Christina! He's coming for YOU first! Can Jill and Rebecca stop having awesome chick sex? Can Leon stop being a douche? Will Claire and Christina live happily ever after? Has Wesker finally gone overboard?!


    The following special features will be included for the following characters:
    Jill: When you beat the game with Jill on all difficulties, you will have the option of new, skittle producing breasts that you can upgrade from dripping to shooting. Once upgraded all the way, you will then have the infinite skittle option.

    Rebecca: After finishing the game with Rebecca on all difficulties, you will have the option to purchase "New Game+" which will allow Rebecca to gain super powers from smoking the herbs. Each herb will give her a different ability, and all three herbs combined will make her invincible and hyper strong for one full minute.

    Barry: Barry has the choice of four more robotic bodies: A tank, a MAC truck, a monster truck, and a blue 1970 Dodge Challenger with mounted rail guns. All of Barry's alternate bodies can be 'suped up' to near unstoppable proportions. Will be available for free after the game is beaten with anyone on any difficulty.

    Chris/Christina: Though it doesn't seem like much, you will have the option of different dresses/skirts for Christina. Each frock will change his/her running speed accordingly with the length/weight of each fabric. Will be available for free after the game is beaten with anyone on any difficulty.

    Leon: Leon had the ability to stop being a d-bag for five seconds of gameplay. It will take 30 minutes for him to change back. Available from the start

    Claire: Doesn't get anything because she is too focused on her feelings of love for her brother/sister and the repercussions of her unrequited feelings to even bother using. However, should you actually choose to use her, after you beat the game on "Impossible" mode, she will earn a new heart since her old one was broken... and it will give her super strength and the ability to shoot love arrows.


    Unicorn Wesker: After beating the game with an 'S' rank on all modes with everyone on all difficulties and upgrading everything, Unicorn Wesker will be available (after a small fee). Unicorn Wesker will be playable in Mercenaries mode.

    Unicorn Wesker "Separate Ways": For another small fee, you will be able to purchase the "Separate Ways" side game. In it, you play as Wesker trying to spread the horrendous U-Virus throughout the world using his dreaded unicorn powers.
    To view the real ending, you have to pay a small fee.

    Oh yeah, there are zombies too.

    Images courtesy of Adrian Wesker and HUNK of REHorror.
    Last edited by Dan Corson; 04-08-2009, 10:12 PM.

  • #2

    i pray to god someone reports you...


    • #3
      Were so awesome for finally posting this! I hope people get a good laugh!


      • #4
        What kind of drugs did you take?


        • #5


          • #6
            Originally posted by Harry Mason View Post
            What kind of drugs did you take?

            Only the best kinds! Were about to add another picture too so prepare yourself!
            Last edited by TheMedic; 04-08-2009, 10:11 PM.


            • #7
              New pic... NO! BEST pic.


              • #8
                Jill's head looks real Leon-ish in that Skittles picture


                • #9
                  Damn Rebecca looks wasted!lol


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Harry Mason View Post
                    Damn Rebecca looks wasted!lol

                    Hahaha I know right? Classic. I can't stop looking at her eyes! LMAO


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Dan Corson View Post
                      All I can think is "Taste The Rainbow"
                      "One can only match, move by move, the machinations of fate... and thus defy the tyrannous stars."
                      Resident Evil/Castlevania/ Silent Hill/Onimusha/Tekken /Dark Souls


                      • #12
                        wtf did i just read? am i secretly on acid?


                        • #13
                          LOL I can't tell if people like our story or LOVE it! haha mixed thoughts I suppose.

                          Yeah REmaster... Taste the rainboobs. LOL


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by nemesiswontdie View Post
                            wtf did i just read? am i secretly on acid?
                            Why, yes. Yes you are.


                            • #15
                              This deserves a title screen