Your syndrome if any

[The_15th]

No, not tonight... not from me, at least.

I'm way too fucking sick for that crap, right now. besides, I'm really starting to realize exactly how petty these 'arguments' are getting; I'm also way to old for this stuff.

I just want to read and talk about bio hazard, before it gets to be too pathetic for someone my age.

Have you ever known any elderly people? That's all they do!

[Marvin]

@Mark:
being unique and feeling some pride upon it is totally okay i think. I too sit on it sometimes, though I fall of that ego-wagon very often due extremely low self-esteem. and i too have missed out a lot because of this unormalized differences (read: the home country globalized normalities). But at the end there really is no normal persons. to us 'they' or the 'other' or 'normal' is a thin layer or gourp of people for US to define THEM doing something different (to us perhaps even SO normal, if you understand what i mean), thing is, if we are jealous or discussed of THEIR actions/activities we go even futher this twisted normality (atleast in our eyes) or we make a terrible aproach with fail. I ,am of course, pointing it out from my point of view. So i can shortify it by saying I have many times come to conclusion that normal people are in fact crazy or even socially sick. Evolutionary failures, while myself I am trying to patch myself from this gobal decease to be on a right track. There is a syndrome for these kind of just presented ideas too - narcicism or whatever it is spelled in english.

@DONNIemo, chemicals ruin our mind and soul. I had a period in my life where i took those anti-depressants. Sure it made me feel like in heaven. But it fucked up everything in long term. Took me a lot of effort to drop these. God... i hate chemicals that ruin our body. (i do take painkillers for headache though... what else to do)


@J0shuaKane, i am not a psychologist nor never tend to be one, but what you describe about never stopped thinking is due busy mind. Constant worrying about everything; also related to low self-esteem and its friends in psycholocial terms. I had this a lot, until i got a book about Eckhart Tolle (google him if interestd, book was Power of Now or something like that) where I got this beautiful idea that WE are not ourhg THOUGHTS. Thinking is marely a tool, like hammer. It does not have to swing all day and night. So I was skeptical at first. But once I took a step back from my thoughts (visually seeing my self from distance) I started to realize what kind of entity in this present nanosecond I am in reality). To each his own; I am not forcing anything. I have read from taoism to christian books and haxored trough a lot to find the truth ; i did - there is none. my final hypotsesi concluded with simply words:

We are nothing more than a structured synapses (perhaps in some form in the quantum field level; i come to this later if somebody interested) and its impressions of external stimuli in brain from since the beginning of our birth. The positive / negative impacts define who we are. We are what we make oursevs and we greatly are with whom we are (either reflecting positively or negativly our surrounding entities (persons)). And it has nothing to do with belief. It's mechanics of our brain. To some those extremum (or even extreme statistical outliers) experiences end up as 'syndrome' in soul (mind) world. Often manifesting to physical disorders. And of course those birth given deseases/disabilitie (also interfereing with soul/mind)

I am sorry if this current post does not make any real sense. Its one of those 'enthusiasm' modes.

[The_Wes]

I suffer of a very strong type of chronic depression, also sleeplessness. In my youth a have a total lack of social abilities, but now I learned to do a "software acceleration" and I can speak with other people. When I was in high school, I was the first of my promotion. Now is very hard to me pass my exams.

[Lead belly]

I don't know what you'd call it but...I have this thing where if I have a lot of work to do (hw, work, chores), and there's absolutely no way I'll finish it in time, except if I start right that second...I sometimes won't bother even then. Even if it is likely to effect me in the long term, like failing a class, or losing a job, or a friend. I will just mentally shut down and just 'accept' my inevitable failure. Bear in mind that I am fully capable of overcoming almost any task I am put up against, even when my time's on the verge of running out to complete it. It's a strange feeling, almost peaceful even. You just lay there in your bed while you watch your whole world burn down around you - it's blissful. Doing this has cost me many, many, many opportunities in life - it depresses me just to think about it. How far I would've come by now If I could've just applied myself for a couple damn hours, even minutes...and I'm only 20 years old!

[J0shuaKane]

@Mark: well, one thing most psychologists ignore, is what normal for a human being is.

up until recently in our existence we all wanted to eat and fuck everything in sight. so that is normal. everything else is ecological, or what benefited you as you grew in life. being a complete and twisted individual is as normal as it gets. people who use words like freak and psycho as an insult are usually just trying to feel better about themselves, or have learned that addressing other people like that benefit them in some way.

i know what you mean all too well, trust me. even as a child i had great interest in serial killers and i ran a gore site as a teenager. you are right though, this is no place to elaborate on the specifics, hence why i never got into what my four personalities are like.

i missed out on alot to, but also was able to do other things because of it. i mean, we will always miss out on things, but not everyone will accomplish unique things like you have.

@Marvin: i don't really worry much at all, quite the opposite and it makes people mad. not that i don't care about anything, it just seems that way to other people. me not being able to stop thinking does cause the hammer to break once and a while, using your analogy, but it gets rebuilt stronger every time and takes less time to repair. its like i find math actually fun because of it's infinite challenges. i figure its like the brakes are out, so i can't worry about how fast i am going i just need to steer.
you are on the right path using how the brain works scientifically to try and figure yourself out psychologically. it really does bring a whole new level of understanding yourself and gives you better ideas on why.

@lead belly: as long as you are thinking about it like that you are in a position to change. alot of people behave like that, but most of them just accept it. i know its deeper than procrastination, one of my personalities is just like that.
i was tutoring high school students in the second grade and could have went to college after the 8th grade and skipped high school entirely, but the motivation to really apply myself was not there.
but, like you said you are only 20, im almost 10 years older than you. you still have plenty of time to put those regrets in the front of your mind and make them drive you to where you really want to be.


and for closing, some Bruce Lee quotes - "Don't fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.”
“For it is easy to criticize and break down the spirit of others, but to know yourself takes a lifetime.”
“'What is' is more important than ‘what should be.’ Too many people are looking at ‘what is’ from a position of thinking ‘what should be’.”
“Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system.”
“Effort within the mind further limits the mind, because effort implies struggle towards a goal and when you have a goal, a purpose, an end in view, you have placed a limit on the mind.”

[Graco]

I have Aspergers. I've had a much better time handling it in my twenties than I did my teenage years. Autism spectrum disorders are prevalent in my mother's family.

I'm very lucky to have a wife that understands me and knows that I do love her despite being mostly mute in person when it comes to emotional matters and displaying feelings.

[MeganGrass]

So i can shortify it by saying I have many times come to conclusion that normal people are in fact crazy or even socially sick.

I've come to the same conclusion, more times than I can remember. I think about that kinda stuff a lot.

I used to think that is was a 'hipster' or 'trendy' thing - all people sharing a single mind - but I've come to learn that it's a phenomena that dates back hundreds of years.

Hundreds of years ago, it was 'normal' to believe the planet we live on is 'flat'. (One could imagine where I'm going with this)

I then stumbled over the question, "What is normal?". Electrical signals interpreted by the brain? Self-righteous ideology? An illusion, enforced by those with powerful influence? Population control? A feeling of belonging? The progression of culture?

Those questions still linger, but my current belief is that 'normal' is nothing more than one's own routine. Blind happiness, or perhaps, pure ignorance, even. I want that.

even as a child i had great interest in serial killers

I can't say that I share that feeling/experience, but I do know this is certain: That is completely 'normal', especially in American society. Hell, people glorify them, and have done so since the days Jack the Ripper stalked the streets of London.

Anyway, on that subject, a short story:

Many years ago, now, some friends and I were sitting around, drinking and such, when a friend of mine began talking about 'Dexter Morgan'. I was completely unaware of the fictional character, so I listened to them talk it. Additionally, I was 'on a plain', and somehow thought they were talking about someone who is real.

Out of genuine fear, I eventually turned to them and said, "Wait! Where does this guy live?"

Someone told me, "Miami... why?"

Somewhat-but-not-really-relieved, I then asked, "Don't you think we should report this sick bastard to the authorities? For fucks sake, he's killing people!"

Everyone laughed at me and I felt really stupid. I've been addicted to the show, since.

[Graco]

I'm so excited about the final season coming up in a few weeks. Sounds like its going to be fantastic.

[TheSelfishGene]

I don't know what you'd call it but...I have this thing where if I have a lot of work to do (hw, work, chores), and there's absolutely no way I'll finish it in time, except if I start right that second...I sometimes won't bother even then. Even if it is likely to effect me in the long term, like failing a class, or losing a job, or a friend. I will just mentally shut down and just 'accept' my inevitable failure. Bear in mind that I am fully capable of overcoming almost any task I am put up against, even when my time's on the verge of running out to complete it. It's a strange feeling, almost peaceful even. You just lay there in your bed while you watch your whole world burn down around you - it's blissful. Doing this has cost me many, many, many opportunities in life - it depresses me just to think about it. How far I would've come by now If I could've just applied myself for a couple damn hours, even minutes...and I'm only 20 years old!

This sounds a lot like one of my best friends.
Since 2006 he's been trying to graduate from a 3 year degree at university. He usually doesn't go to class, falls behind, gets in a funk and drops out of the course. He's had I think 4 or 5 'final' semesters now. Ie. If he passed all the subjects he was enrolled in at the start of that semester he would have finished his degree.
He also worries that on his resume it will show that it took him so long to do the degree so no one will hire him. So that makes him less motivated to finish...
2 and a half years ago I got a job on campus at the university. So I tell him to come in to his classes and get lunch with me. He always timetables his classes to all fall on one day, but he still only comes once every 3 weeks or so. He and his family and his friends all want him to finish and we're helping as much as we can. But there's not a lot more we can do. And he's invested 7 years in it that he doesn't want to drop out (with 2 subjects left. Most students take 4 subjects per semester...)

[BiohazardFE]

Well, I never talk about it but I've suffered with anxiety and depression for around 13 years now. I can control it for the most part but it strikes back in panic attacks or sleep paralysis at times, sometimes nightmares. Awake or asleep it's a constant battle.

I also have a bizarre OCD complex that strikes when it feels like it, really strange stuff. Selective OCD if you will. I remember as a kid I did weird things and I never really observed my behaviour then or growing up until recently and it kind of explained it. There's a lot to go into but one example is sometimes I have to rub my thumbs between the buttons on a PS1 controller in certain directions symmetrically or something like that, if I don't do it right I have to start all over again. It happens outside sometimes too, or at work. Sometimes I have to just release a burst of energy and hit a wall or something weird like that, or I have to rub my palms simultaneously against an object. I'll walk down the street and I have to touch a bush with my hand or a flower, a tree or a railing. It's like sampling how something feels and most of the time I'm unaware I'm doing it. I will see something on the floor like an old paperclip or a broken pen, and I think I should pick it up because someone needs it, if not something bad might happen. Who's honestly going to want a busted pen? Logic rarely over rides it and sometimes I do feel like a complete headcase. I don't know why it happens, and I don't really know how to get rid of it. I've just dealt with it for so long it's just routine now. Feels kinda good to get that out there even if it is on a forum.

[The_Wes]

OCD is obsessive compulsive disorder??? I'm studying a psychology degree, but the acronym of the illness are diferent in spanish and english. I also have obsessive features, but I think is something normal in a community like the our. Collectors, people talking about games with more than 15 years...

[BiohazardFE]

Yeah Wes, that's right. I've always had it but it's sporadic, it hits sometimes twice a week sometimes for months on end.

[Dracarys]

Anatidaephobia

[The_Wes]

Anatidaephobia

This is true or you are just kidding??? If you post things like that in a very personal thread where the people open his hearts, you haven't a correct sense of humor.

[DONNIemo]

I think alot of us have OCD indeed, my partner always comments on me when she finds me doing things, it makes her laugh though and is caring. Ive always been very symetrical with everything in life, i noticed it when i did photography and art in school, i got good grades because everything was so neat. But now its just having things in order, like movies and games going A to Z, biggest to smallest, boxes in boxes. I can obsess over details for hours any given day, i like things to be clean too, like when i buy a preowned game i will clean all the stickers off the case, and even replace damaged cases with new ones. I hate change too, lol like when they made the Playstation3 just "PS3" on everthing and all the covers changed argh that was ahard time.