Okay, listen up, you primitive screwheads.
Dead Space 3 is right around the corner and it's lookin' fuckin' boss.
Here's a short list of shit to expect to be going down in the new game;
1. Enemies shooting back! Gone are the days of only the necromorphs throwing shit at you. This time Isaac's done goofed real good; Others might shoot the shit out of him as well - for throwing his lip like he's known to.
2. The stick up Isaac's ass is finally gone; Now he can finally take cover when needed and do what other people on frozen planets do; roll like a pro!
3. Universal ammo types! Gone are the days of every single energy driven weapon having exclusive proprietary battery clips. Having left the comforts of his Apple-esque Star Trek future and ventured into the domain open standards and Android land; some weapons share ammo clips now.
4. The guy who always tells you how to do your shit in games can finally put his money where his mouth is; There's co-op now. Show that fucker he's nothing but talk and a total burdon on your Clarkin' awesomeness.
5. Wuzzies can keep their co-op to themselves; The storyline only shoehorns in those co-op extras when someone hits start on controller 2 and that second player jumps in at the next checkpoint/cutscene.
6. Lost Planet 3 is coming out too, so once you're done with one icy planet, you can go to the real place of frozen, hard nipples; E.D.N. III - in English, motherfucker (unlike that awesomely action-filled mofo E.X. Troopers - which will likely remain a Nipsclusive)
Trailers?
Lots of them! Google and YouTube's only been around since you were born, you should know how to use them by now, fuckballs!
Dead Space 3 is right around the corner and it's lookin' fuckin' boss.
Here's a short list of shit to expect to be going down in the new game;
1. Enemies shooting back! Gone are the days of only the necromorphs throwing shit at you. This time Isaac's done goofed real good; Others might shoot the shit out of him as well - for throwing his lip like he's known to.
2. The stick up Isaac's ass is finally gone; Now he can finally take cover when needed and do what other people on frozen planets do; roll like a pro!
3. Universal ammo types! Gone are the days of every single energy driven weapon having exclusive proprietary battery clips. Having left the comforts of his Apple-esque Star Trek future and ventured into the domain open standards and Android land; some weapons share ammo clips now.
4. The guy who always tells you how to do your shit in games can finally put his money where his mouth is; There's co-op now. Show that fucker he's nothing but talk and a total burdon on your Clarkin' awesomeness.
5. Wuzzies can keep their co-op to themselves; The storyline only shoehorns in those co-op extras when someone hits start on controller 2 and that second player jumps in at the next checkpoint/cutscene.
6. Lost Planet 3 is coming out too, so once you're done with one icy planet, you can go to the real place of frozen, hard nipples; E.D.N. III - in English, motherfucker (unlike that awesomely action-filled mofo E.X. Troopers - which will likely remain a Nipsclusive)
Trailers?
Lots of them! Google and YouTube's only been around since you were born, you should know how to use them by now, fuckballs!
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