Marriages - a male perspective

[Grem]

Why do you think these marriages have failed?

Hmm, for a lot of reasons : Destructive relationship, lack of communication, end of passion...all these things. The result being divorce.

Marriage is a religious institute; to show commitment to not only your partner, but to God as well.

But if you love your partner and if your partner love you in return, you don't need to show your committment. It's like "hey, I want to be sure you love me and that you never gonna leave me, so marry me!". Dunno, in fact it shows the contrary, a sort of distrust for your partner. If you trust your partner you don't need that, at least, in my opinion.
I know that there is also the romantic reason (which was the only one I liked before) like "let's make a big party to show that we're fucking in love!"
Social status and religion seems the only valid reasons for so many people to marriage, but agnostic as I am, I don't need to show it to God he he

I guess it depends on your point of view of what does really mean committment, your relation to God and your personal reasons for marriage and stuffs just like Darkmoon said.

And why did these marriages succeed?

Well, to put it more precisely, they APPEAR succesful, because there is no divorce and no external signs of unease in the couple. But you never know how it's really like between them, so I assume they are successful. Doesn't make it true, though.

[oskar-det]

Honest to God, I wouldn't want that in a relationship. It's not a relationship at all. It's someone completely dominating someone else, and honestly? Creepy as hell. I guess you're just destined to be alone, dude.

Here you go.

[Darkmoon]

If that works for you, then great. But you're definitely going to find yourself in a minority on that one, and it's nothing to do with society. That's just your own self. Which is fine. Everyone needs to choose what makes them happy.

[oskar-det]

If that works for you, then great. But you're definitely going to find yourself in a minority on that one, and it's nothing to do with society. That's just your own self. Which is fine. Everyone needs to choose what makes them happy.

What do you mean when you say it's a minority that has to do only with myself and nothing with society?

Just want to understand what you're trying to say here.

[Alexia_Ashford]

I think he means that you have issues with maintaining relationships with people and control which need to be worked out, and it's an issue with you, and not society. And until they are worked out, no woman will go within 100 feet of you.

[oskar-det]

I think he means that you have issues with maintaining relationships with people and control which need to be worked out, and it's an issue with you, and not society. And until they are worked out, no woman will go within 100 feet of you.

Is that so? Why do I have issues with people then? It's because of society, and the way it teaches us how to act, what to wear, what to say etc. 99 % of all people can't break out of that norm, they just do as they're told so that they can maintain relationships.

I don't believe a vast majority equals "right" opinion. Hitler got the whole country to follow him, but was that right? No. Germans followed him because everyone else did.

[Darkmoon]

Maybe so, but the majority of people are happy the way things are. They might not be perfect, but there happy enough to not want change. You're an exception to the rule - it doesn't make the rule wrong, just wrong for you. Most people are happy and if they're not, it's up to them to change. Society follows where people lead.

[oskar-det]

Maybe so, but the majority of people are happy the way things are. They might not be perfect, but there happy enough to not want change. You're an exception to the rule - it doesn't make the rule wrong, just wrong for you. Most people are happy and if they're not, it's up to them to change. Society follows where people lead.

I believe people are too dumb to understand this. They have never even thought about it because they go with the flow and are "happy". If people stopped and really REALLY thought about it, I believe a lot would change.

But that also means losing your social status, maybe losing your job, losing your friends etc. Who wants to do that? Only people who dare defy society and every shit it stands for.

[Alexia_Ashford]

Is that so? Why do I have issues with people then? It's because of society, and the way it teaches us how to act, what to wear, what to say etc. 99 % of all people can't break out of that norm, they just do as they're told so that they can maintain relationships.

I don't believe a vast majority equals "right" opinion. Hitler got the whole country to follow him, but was that right? No. Germans followed him because everyone else did.

No it isn't because of society. I don't give a shit about how society wants me to act or what it wants me to do, I do what makes me happy and what I want to do. And what I want to do is be in a monogamous relationship with someone I love. I don't do it because society tells me I have to. You seem to have a chip on your shoulder regarding the subject because you don't seem to be able to accept anyone else's perspective on the issue. People in general want to be with someone who makes them happy, and no one will ever want to be anywhere near you if you want to "control" someone. Control tends to lead into abusive and violent relationships.

You seem very arrogant to think everyone else is too stupid to understand the issues of conformity and only you are smart enough to see it. Being single means nothing. It wouldn't change my social status, my friends, or my job. I just want to be in a relationship because I love someone. It's that simple.

[Darkmoon]

I believe people are too dumb to understand this. They have never even thought about it because they go with the flow and are "happy". If people stopped and really REALLY thought about it, I believe a lot would change.

But that also means losing your social status, maybe losing your job, losing your friends etc. Who wants to do that? Only people who dare defy society and every shit it stands for.

That's a load of crap, at least from what I see. I know people who are poly-amorous with solid jobs, a gay guy who own's his own website buisness with a dozen employees, my swinger friends own there own business too. Hell, I'm not a social norm in most ways and I manage just fine. We all have friends, some more normal than others, and no one I know has been disowned by there family bar one guy who used to drink far too much.

[alexdz]

Ladies and gents, we have rebel here.

I've got news to you man, like it or not you're part of the society, doesn't matter if you don't have friends anymore or you don't talking to your relatives or stuff like that, you need society. You need other people to make the food you buy, people to pay you for your job, people to maintain services like electricity and internet that you are using right now, and so on and on.

So, if you hate society so much and don't need other people go live in the woods and plant and hunt your own food.

[oskar-det]

That's a load of crap, at least from what I see. I know people who are poly-amorous with solid jobs, a gay guy who own's his own website buisness with a dozen employees, my swinger friends own there own business too. Hell, I'm not a social norm in most ways and I manage just fine. We all have friends, some more normal than others, and no one I know has been disowned by there family bar one guy who used to drink far too much.

That's your opinion. I don't agree, but I think you and I have had enough of this. We've gone through everything... and I'm thankful you could discuss it properly. Even though our opinions differ very much, we could still talk.

[oskar-det]

Ladies and gents, we have rebel here.

I've got news to you man, like it or not you're part of the society, doesn't matter if you don't have friends anymore or you don't talking to your relatives or stuff like that, you need society. You need other people to make the food you buy, people to pay you for your job, people to maintain services like electricity and internet that you are using right now, and so on and on.

So, if you hate society so much and don't need other people go live in the woods and plant and hunt your own food.

I'm not stupid. I simply avoid society as much as possible, but of course it's impossible to completely avoid it.

Everything isn't black or white.

[Wrathborne]

I'm not stupid. I simply avoid society as much as possible, but of course it's impossible to completely avoid it.

Everything isn't black or white.

And yet you seem to have a completely black and white point of view on society, relationships, and women.

[Bertha]

I think he means that you have issues with maintaining relationships with people and control which need to be worked out, and it's an issue with you, and not society. And until they are worked out, no woman will go within 100 feet of you.

Sadly...there are women that feel that they cant do anything without a man to give his say so because they believe that they need to be controlled. Look at women in abusive relationships who blame themselves for pissing off the men that hit them...rather than blaming the men that hit them because he's a loser.

Also...I lol so hard at this user. He tries to avoid society at all costs...yet he joins a forum on the internet to socialize? I also find it amusing that almost every thread/post has to be something sexual. "LOOK AT THIS FLABBY ASS ON A VIDYA GAME LADY!" or "ZOMG THIS COSPALYER'S ASS ISNT RIGHT!" or "LOLICON? FUCK YEA!" For someone that wants to avoid society...you're failing...so very hard.